2019 reflections

Every December I get a bit sappy...

I mean, it's my birthday, year-end, and Christmas all in one month.

I'm already a pretty reflective person, so a month brimming with reasons for extra reflection tugs at my inner being, begging me to stop and ponder what has been as a way of preparing for what will be.

One of the best parts of 2019 was the unexpected gift of a lovely blank journal...

"I'm going to buy you a journal!" friend Emily said mid-way through 2019. 

"And you're going to write down your thoughts and questions and use it to process through things and look back at the ways God takes care of you and teaches you new things."

I was skeptical.

[Not skeptical of Emily buying me a journal, but of me using said journal and actually finding it beneficial.]

.......

Over six months later with nearly half of those neatly lined pages no longer blank,

I find myself ever so thankful for the gift of this journal in 2019.

Social media (and really, even the stuff we share in old print media) often has a way of presenting life in high-gloss finish. But my life is full of every-day-real-life-stuff. Real life includes frustrations and pain and tears and... even disappointments and challenges I never knew I'd have to battle. There are lots of days when the beautiful and amazing of the every-day stuff is a whole lot more complicated than just grinning a happy-go-lucky smile or posting a selfie of a fun adventure.

I passed through some deep places in 2019, 

deeper than I could see out on the horizon when January began.

And as I reflect back over this year,

I'm pretty sure those depths led to at least some minuscule growth.

I hope I've learned at least a tidbit more about

my amazing heavenly Father

and who He's calling me to be.

I'm so glad He is patient and loving and gently leads me along

this path called life,

allowing me to ask hard questions

and press through deep waters

into Him.

And to find Him there.

Ever faithful.