the Office...

..It’s where I find myself with some of my best, most loyal friends—Excel and numbers, and worst enemies—the fluky internet connection and technology. We- (the numbers, internet, and I) battle through each day. Some days the internet wins (when 13 emails remain in my outbox because the computer refuses to connect to the semi-existent web network in order to send said messages). Some days Excel gloats about me as I count and recount bills and coins, comparing and re-comparing receipts, ending balances, and data entries.

The happiest days are when I win… when the emails send (bonus = positive responses that require no additional work!), the cash box balances, all the papers are filed, my desk is in order, the computer agrees to power down (I’m not joking—sometimes it refuses me even this most basic of all actions), and there are only one or two remaining to-do lists stuck to my desk…

Then I pull the curtains, cover the technological devices with an old sheet… and take my satisfied heart to bed.

In between that balanced fulfillment of life and numbers in their proper places, I spend my office moments surrounded by Kwacha, operational receipts, paper clips, reports, lists (for everything… how much I spent on electricity last month, what a need to discuss with Bishop at our next meeting, menus for guesthouse meals, jots about exchange rates on certain days, reminders to shuffle money between accounts or go back to check on previous financial entries), grocery receipts, the stapler, pictures of friends and family, mugs and mugs of tea (one at a time… don’t be ridiculous), and a vanilla scented candle flickering away.

Today I wanted to share with you a gem of a receipt I reviewed last week:

OFFROAD TRADING receipt #3169

Dealers in House Hold, Groceries, Cosmetics

Guest House, Restaurant, Transport, Soft

and Hardware, Agriculture in put.

P.O. Box 960011, Cell: 0979 962831 / 0977 927712

Looks like our only purchases were in the “Grocery” department: jam, brown sugar, cooking oil, silver tea, and Blue Band (immensely popular fake butter spread)... but I can’t help but wonder what Soft-ware is? —towels, blankets maybe??

In addition, how many shops do you know that sell Cosmetics and Restaurant and Agriculture 

in put items-?

Funny thing is- this type of receipt is so ordinary here that no one else would find it amusing. 

[Time-spent-in-office getting to my head? Probably. Oh well.]

I included the contact phone numbers so that skeptics can contact OFFROAD for proof of the business’s existence.